1.
I DON'T WANT ANOTHER PILL
I DON'T WANT ANOTHER POWDER
I DON'T WANT ANOTHER DEVICE
I WANT A LIFE 
FREE FROM
	ALL OF THE THINGS THAT KEEP ME
	SICK	TIRED	AND    WANTING
YES I AM STRESSED
THERE IS 
A WICKED ILLUSION
	KEEPING ALL OF THIS TOGETHER!



2.
I AM LOST AT SEA
A SEA OF FORLORN IMAGES SURROUNDS ME
	ALWAYS
INESCAPABLE
I AM DROWNING AND ATTEMPTING TO THRIVE
WHERE ARE MY SPECTATORS?



3.
TODAY I DO NOT FEEL LIKE AN ARTIST
I FEEL LIKE SOMEONE ON THE VERGE
	OF LOSING THEIR MIND
I WISH I COULD ERASE THE PAST, TOO
I CAN’T THOUGH
I WISH I COULD DO A HARD RESET
	AND ONLY FEEL 
THE GOOD FEELINGS
I’M FAR FROM A MACHINE
I’LL NEVER BECOME WHAT I LONG TO BE IF I ACT LIKE A MACHINE
IN ORDER TO CREATE THINGS THAT ARE MEANINGFUL TO ME I HAVE TO
	FEEL MY FEELINGS
THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE UGLY
I NEED TO DO MY LAUNDRY THE MACHINES WILL HELP ME DO MY LAUNDRY THE MACHINES WILL ALLOW ME TO RECALL AND TO FIND AND SOMETIMES TO RECORD 
AND TO LISTEN
I AM NOT A MACHINE AND I WILL DO MY BEST WHEN I AM ABLE



4. PLEASE,
DO NOT IDEALIZE ME
I AM JUST LIKE YOU
LIVING AND TRYING
DOING MY BEST
	IN-THE-FACE-OF
LIVING IN THE TENSE SPACE BETWEEN TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCES
	AND UNYIELDING DREAMS
DREAMS OF A LIFE UNENCUMBERED
I AM PLAGUED BY A CONSTANT WORRY
AND BLESSED WITH THE CAPACITY FOR GRATITUDE
ON A PATH TO A PLACE BEYOND MERE SURVIVAL
YEARNING TO LET OTHERS IN
IN MY OWN WAY, ON MY OWN TIME
LEARNING TO TRUST AFTER TIME AND TIME AGAIN MY TRUST HAS BEEN
	ABUSED
RIPPED FROM MY HANDS
LIKE TAKING CANDY FROM A BABY
I WAS ONCE SOMEONE WHO HAD FAITH
	AND I AM TRYING TO BE
					AGAIN



5.
I AM TRAPPED IN
	SOME KIND OF HELL
	BUT
I LONG TO BREAK FREE
	AND
I REFUSE TO LET THIS SOCIETY KILL ME
	PREMATURELY
I AM SATURATED WITH KNOWLEDGE AND LIMITED BY COERCION
SWIMMING AGAINST THE CURRENT
IN A SEA OF DOUBT AND DISBELIEF
TRYING TO LIVE, LIVE, LIVE
UNTIL THE COWS COME HOME
ORAL FIXATION
DISPLACEMENT
NARCISSISTIC GREED
I AM AN AMERICAN
THE SYSTEM FEEDS ON MY RAGE
AND AT TIMES I AM NUMB
I WILL HAVE A GOOD TIME
IN THE FACE OF BURDENS AND DEBTS
I WILL COPE WITH
	THE DISSONANCE
HOWEVER I KNOW HOW
I’D REALLY PREFER IF WE JUST…
SWEPT IT ALL UNDER THE RUG…
	FLEE FROM ALL FEELING! 
THE GOOD THE BAD THE UGLY!
IT’LL GO AWAY IF I IGNORE IT LONG ENOUGH, RIGHT?



6.
WHAT LIVES WITH ME COMES ALIVE
MOMENTS OF BEAUTY INFUSED WITH FEAR
TIMES OF LONGING AND DREAMING AMIDST PAIN
A NERVOUS SYSTEM DAUNTED BY WAKING NIGHTMARES
FEELINGS OF ALIENATION AND ISOLATION
	GRIEF WOVEN THROUGH ME
	REMINDERS TO LOOK BEHIND ME AND BELOW AND BEHOLD
	BY THE GRACE OF GOD,
	THE STILLNESS OF FREEDOM EXISTS WITHIN ME
I’LL NEVER RID MYSELF OF THE TRAUMA AND THE LIES AND
	THE STILLNESS OF FREEDOM EXISTS WITHIN ME
THE WEARY, EAGER TRAVELER SAYS TO ME,
	“FUCK THE BEATEN PATH.”
IT WAS TODAY, ONLY AFTER SUCH STRANGE DREAMS CAME TO ME
	IN THE NIGHT
IT WAS TODAY, ONLY IN THE MIDST OF BRUTALITY AND VIOLENCE
MY CONSCIOUSNESS PERTURBED BY THE WAKING NIGHTMARES WHICH 
	SURELY ABOUND
IT WAS TODAY, I OPENED MY EYES AND I SAW THE ABUNDANCE
	AMIDST STRIFE
		WHICH CLINGS INSIDE TO MY FIGHTING ORGANS AND CELLS
ABUNDANCE ON A SPIRITUAL PLANE
ABUNDANCE DESPITE,
IN THE FACE OF.
I WAS BORN AND I CONTINUE TO BE.



7. 
I AM AN ABSOLUTE FUCKING NIGHTMARE
AND SO ARE 
YOU!
I WISH I COULD TAKE MYSELF APART
	AND
PUT MYSELF BACK TOGETHER AGAIN
I WISH WE ALL COULD



8.
LISTENING TO THE UNIVERSE AND GETTING TO KNOW MYSELF IN A STATE OF LONGING. ASKING TOUGH QUESTIONS AND NOT NECESSARILY NEEDING TO “FIND” ANSWERS. I KNOW. I DO. HAVING A TOUGH CONVERSATION WITH MYSELF ABOUT WHETHER I’M “UNCONSCIOUSLY REPEATING PATTERNS” THAT DO NOT BEAR FRUIT. JUST TROUBLE AND STRIFE. LISTENING TO THE UNIVERSE I HEAR THE OWL’S CALL AS I FEEL A SUNNY TICKLE ON MY SHOULDER. BEING-WITH, MY SELF. I APPRECIATE MY OWN NEW FORM. I FIND SOLACE IN THE SMELL OF MY OWN SWEAT. I FEEL THE BREEZE SHIFT CORKSCREW CURLS INTO MY MOUTH. I WILL STAY RIGHT HERE BECAUSE TOO MANY TIMES I HAVE FOUND A REASON NOT TO. I WILL CONTINUE TO FEEL THE SUN ON MY BACK. LIKE A STONE. I MAY BE LIKE A STONE BUT TODAY I AM NOT COLD. I WILL NOT ROLL. I WILL GATHER MOSS UNTIL IT IS TIME TO BE FOUND ELSEWHERE. CARRIED BY SOME FORCE. I AM TOO BIG TO BE KEPT IN YOUR POCKET. YOU CAN ONLY VISIT ME. I AM TOO GREAT TO BE PUSHED UP THAT TIRED HILL. YOU WILL PUT YOUR HANDS ON ME AND THINK, “THIS MUST BE HEAVEN.”



9.
ABUSE OF POWER
UNCERTAINTY
COERCION
FEAR

I AM SO AFRAID



10.
SOMETIMES I FEEL SO ANXIOUS
SOMETIMES I FEEL SO POWERFUL
AS IF NOTHING CAN HURT ME
A THOUSAND FEET TALL
PEERING OVER THE WALLS THAT HAVE BEEN BUILT
DEEPER THAN THE VASTEST OF OCEANS IN SYMBIOSIS WITH THE TALLEST MOUNTAINS
A LOT OF GROUND COVERED
LIKE CLOVER PATCHES IN THE GARDEN
LET THE HEALING BEGIN
	AGAIN, PLEASE
WHO ELSE KNOWS FEELINGS SO VAST YOU COULD LIVE IN THEM?



11. 
I AM AFRAID TO HOPE BUT I JUST 	KEEP ON HOPING
I FEEL STRANGE	TIME TO SHED
CAN YOU EMPATHIZE? 
DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE 		TO FEEL LIKE TRASH?
USE-DISCARD-REPLACE-USE-DISCARD-REPLACE-USE-DISCARD-REPLACE-USE
I WISH I COULD TURN MY HEART TO STONE
	BUT I CAN’T AND I REALLY DON’T EVEN WANT TO, ANYWAY
I JUST HATE BEING SO AFFECTED BY IT
I’M TRYING TO CONNECT WITH MY HEART AND I AM AFRAID OF BEING ATTACHED
PLEASE DO NOT HURT ME I AM ALREADY BRACED FOR IMPACT
HOW NICE IT IS FOR THERE TO BE NOTHING AT ALL



12.
LIVING ON THE SURFACE
ON BEING-FOR
	BEING MADE TO FEEL LIKE 
A COMMODITY
USED-FOR
	NEVER MEANT TO BE REAL
	NEVER MEANT TO HAVE AN EFFECT
ONLY MEANT TO
BE-FOR

I AM A WHOLE PERSON
I WANT YOU TO JOIN ME
	IN THE DEPTHS
I DO NOT LONG TO LIVE ON THE SURFACE OF LIFE
VENEERED-LAQUERED-PAINTED-WHITE-PICKET-FENCE-SUTURED-SUFFERING-IN-SILENCE-TIL-WE-DIE
SOUNDS LIKE SUFFOCATION TO ME
SURRENDER TO THE DEPTHS
	WITH ME
PLUNGE     BREAK     FALL
BEGIN AGAIN
OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN

I FALL FOR THE IMAGE EVERY TIME I FALL FOR THE IMAGE EVERY TIME I FALL FOR THE IMAGE EVERY TIME

THE IMAGE IS SO COMPELLING
“HOW PERFECT!”
“THAT WILL NEVER BE ME,” I SAY, TOWERING OVER AN ABYSS THAT BECOMES LARGER AND LARGER AS I BECOME SMALLER AND SMALLER AND SMALLER AND SMALLER

TEAR ME TO PIECES
RIP OUT MY HAIR
FEEL THE CURLED TUFTS IN YOUR FINGERS
TAKE MY SKIN, A COMMODITY LIKE COPPER
FEED ME TO YOUR CHILDREN
I AM A PRODUCT OF LOVE BUT
	I FEEL LIKE A POUND OF FLESH
	ON DISPLAY, FOR SALE, TO USE
NEVER MEANT TO BE UNDERSTOOD

NOBODY WANTS TO LOOK BACK BUT SOME OF US DON’T HAVE A CHOICE

TICKING TIME BOMB TICKING TIME BOMB TICKING TIME BOMB

CRAFT A PERFECT IMAGE FOR ALL TO SEE TELL A PERFECT STORY

CRAFT / PERFECT / IMAGE / SEE / STORY

SEE ————————————————|———————————————— FEEL

ON THE VERGE
ONLY EVER ON

TO BE REAL, I’M DEPRESSED, I SPENT ALL DAY IN THE HOUSE SHAKING AND LONGING TO BE SEEN / TO NOT BE SEEN
THE WORLD FEELS COLD, HARD, IMPENETRABLE
LIKE MARBLE…
I KNOW IT’S ONLY THE SURFACE
I FEEL SLAPPED ACROSS THE WHITE MARBLE FLOOR
UNCOMFORTABLE IN MY NUDITY
I’VE BEEN LIVING IN THAT TENSION
OUR REALITY IS:
BEING RIPPED FROM OUR SELF-FASHIONED VIRTUAL PRISONS AND SLAPPED ACROSS A COLD, HARD, WHITE MARBLE FLOOR, NUDE AND IN DISCOMFORT, ASKED TO LOOK, FEEL, AND SEE WHAT WE’VE DONE
	“LOOK! LOOK WHAT YOU’VE DONE! THIS ISN’T REAL LIFE! YOU’VE TAKEN REAL—HARD, NASTY, DIRTY, FLESHY, SMELLY, UGLY, CRUDE, HUMAN-FUCKING-LIFE AND CAGED IT, DESTROYED IT, COMMODIFIED IT LIKE EVERYTHING ELSE! NO WONDER YOU’RE IN PAIN! NO WONDER YOU CAN’T SLEEP AT NIGHT! TAKE A LOOK AT WHAT YOU’VE DONE! AND YOU JUST KEEP DOING IT!” 

YOU LONG TO BE PLUNGED INTO THE ICE COLD WATERS OF REALITY BUT INSTEAD YOU ALWAYS WAKE UP NUDE ON THE COLD MARBLE FLOOR, WONDERING HOW YOU GOT HERE, THE ETERNAL RETURN BEGINNING AGAIN.

ALIENATED, DISCONNECTED…

YOU WAKE UP IN THAT ROOM UNSURE OF HOW YOU GOT THERE OR WHY YOU FEEL LIKE AN OBJECT PUT ON DISPLAY IN A GALLERY FOR PEOPLE TO PAY AND SEE…
YOU TRY TO FIND A WAY OUT, YOU LOOK FOR THE DOOR AND ONCE YOU GET THERE YOU REALIZE SOMETHING OR SOMEONE IS TRYING TO GET INSIDE SO YOU INSTINCTIVELY HOLD THE DOOR CLOSED TO HIDE YOUR NUDITY, EVENTUALLY YOU GIVE UP AND LET THEM IN AND YOU FINALLY RECOGNIZE IT’S YOU ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE DOOR, YOU’VE JUST ESCAPED A NIGHTMARE IN WHICH YOU WERE COMPETING AGAINST YOUR WILL FOR AN UNKNOWN PRIZE THAT YOU WERE TRICKED INTO BELIEVING WOULD GRANT YOU YOUR FREEDOM, YOU FEEL CONFUSED AND AFRAID TO HOLD YOURSELF BUT YOU DO IT ANYWAY AND THEY TELL YOU ALL ABOUT THE HORRORS OF FEELING TRAPPED AND ASHAMED OF NOT WANTING TO PLAY THAT DECEITFUL GAME OF MAKE-BELIEVE.

PERFECTION?

PERFECTION IS THE TASTE OF TOO MUCH SALT IN YOUR MOUTH FROM DRINKING THINKING YOU CAN DRINK TOO MUCH SEAWATER; BE CAREFUL OR BEFORE YOU KNOW IT THEY’LL TURN YOU INTO A PILLAR OF SALT!!

AN OBJECT
LOST AND FORLORN
DOOMED
	TO CONTAINMENT
	TO BEING CAST IN A ROLE FROM WHICH YOU CAN NEVER ESCAPE
AN IMAGE, STILL, OBEDIENT, PERFECT: 
THE ILLUSION OF A THING THAT STANDS AGAINST THE TEST OF TIME UNCHANGED
AN EXPECTATION PLACED AND THEN NEVER SPOKEN ABOUT AGAIN

NEVER LET YOUR IDEALISM DIE
HOW “IT IS” IS NOT HOW IT HAS TO BE
YOU WILL NEVER HAVE ANYTHING IF NOT FOR YOUR DREAMS
IT’S ALL VERY PERSONAL
AMERICA IS THE LAND OF DEPRESSION
I WANT TO RECEIVE HOWEVER I AM
	OVERSATURATED
AND LONGING TO BE WRUNG-OUT LIKE A SPONGE, WET WITH TEARS…